After the hullaballoo, the highs (or the hell) of Xmas, you may find yourself reflecting on 2021 and what comes next for you. Maybe you’ll question what you really want from life or the changes you wish to experience. Resolutions are a waste of time for most people, but the holiday provides a good opportunity to pause and check in with yourself. Putting Covid aside, was 2021 largely a good year for you or did it end with you feeling disenchanted or miserable? And if so, why? What’s needing your attention? Is a small shift required or a change of direction?
Life is easier when you know exactly want you want, but frequently people ‘find themselves’ in jobs, or relationships, that no longer serve or suit them. Fear of change can lead people to stay in situations far longer than they would do if they believed they had options. I often ask my clients ‘The miracle question.’ I invite them to close their eyes and imagine what their life will be like when the problem is solved. What will they see, hear, and notice if a miracle happened overnight and, in the morning, they woke, and the problem had magically gone? This technique allows the person to ‘leap forward’ to the solution, rather than getting bogged down in the steps required to bring about the change; it stops them getting caught up in the reasons why they couldn’t do it.
Why not try this technique yourself? Ask yourself, what your ideal situation or scenario is. Where would you be? Who (if anyone) would be with you? What would you be doing? Allow yourself time to sit quietly and carry out this exercise and trust the process. It’s all too easy to find excuses for why none of it would be possible: ‘I’m too old’, I’m not qualified enough’, ‘I’m no good at…’, ‘I couldn’t….’ The sad thing is that all too often we believe this piffle and don’t realise how much we’re holding ourselves back.
Recognising negative thoughts or beliefs we have about ourselves is the first step in letting them go and moving towards our life goals, rather than writing our dreams off as unrealistic or unachievable. In 2015, Nadiya Hussain won Great British Bake Off and the speech she gave at the time was supremely powerful. She said,
“I’m never gonna put boundaries on myself ever again. I’m never gonna say I can’t do it. I’m never gonna say ‘maybe’. I’m never gonna say, ‘I don’t think I can.’ I can and I will.”
If you want to make some changes in your life but have a habit of self-sabotaging or staying stuck, get in touch. I specialise in working with clients who hold themselves back and I love helping them to achieve their dreams.
To book a free chat at a time which suits you, click here.