Want to make 2026 better?
The TV ads are on.
The shops are full of seasonal merchandise.
Festive menus are being posted.
There’s no getting away from it, Christmas is approaching.
For many it’s a time associated with love, happiness and laughter. But a fair chunk of the population dreads it, or just gets through it.
If you don’t have a family or don’t get on with them, or if you are missing someone through bereavement or a breakup, it can be a lonely or miserable time.
It may be that for the rest of the year your friends are your support network, but at Christmas they spend time with their family.
Family dynamics can be particularly tricky during the holiday period when there’s a lot of pressure to be jovial and to enjoy quality time together.
Most families experience disharmony at times, but it’s often amplified at Christmas.
Long periods indoors with people you don’t see often can be problematic. Different values, different personalities, and past misunderstandings can all increase tension over the festive period. Unresolved problems between family members can be reignited in an artificially close and confined environment.
At other times of year, intimate partners may co-exist without significant clashes.
But long periods indoors without the respite of work, social, or other activities can shine a light on strained relationships. Many divorces are instigated in the New Year when individuals or couples recognise that they no longer love or like their spouse or want something more or different.
There’s an awful lot of pressure on folk at this time of year.
Some fantasise about having the perfect Christmas and dream of being surrounded by loved ones with everyone being happy. Others long for a loving relationship with a romantic partner and feel lonely or incomplete.
Clients often say they ‘have to’ spend time with family members they can barely tolerate. Many tell me they have no choice about what they do at Christmas.
The truth is that we always have a choice, even if those choices are tricky or uncomfortable. You can choose to do something different this year and if that alternative option will result in you being less stressed, why not?
Or if you decide to do the same as usual, maybe you can choose to feel differently about it. You could say to yourself, “I choose to spend time with my family at Christmas because…” By reframing the experience as a choice, you will feel more assertive and in control.
Do you want to make changes so that 2026 will be better than 2025?
If you want to make changes so that next year will be better than this one, get in touch to arrange a chat.
I offer online and face-to-face therapy sessions, and 3-day Intensive Therapy Retreats in Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire.
